It’s been an exhausting week. Ella has had German measles and fluid trapped behind her ear – a double whammy, as the doctor said – so she’s been super grumpy and not sleeping well. Poor poppet. I am not used to a grumpy baby! I feel like the whole week has been a single note plucked on a guitar: ‘sick baby, sick baby, sick baby’. Alternated with ‘I’m so tired, I’m so tired, I’m so tired.’ But aren’t we all walking around with a recurring thought on repeat?
Before kids, I remember days of feeling stressed about work or deadlines or travel arrangements and walking around thinking, ‘I’m so stressed, I’m so stressed, I’m so stressed’. Or worried about a friend situation, and having that as my single note. Each of them is almost like a colour you exude, isn’t it? And when you first fall in love, it’s just pure joy. Or when you first find out you’re pregnant, or start an exciting new adventure of some kind.
It helps, during these days of extreme exhaustion, to remember that. Although the notes are pretty much all the same at the moment (tired, exhausted, fatigued, etc) that will change. The one constant in life is change.
I also think an awareness of your single, recurring thought takes some of the weight away from it, don’t you think? You can’t take yourself so seriously when you know you’re strumming the same old tune on the old guitar…
Here’s to notes of peace, and rest, and joy in the not too distant future!