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Big life changes and grief

My daughter has just started Big School and I’m feeling surprisingly emotional about it…

I have such a distinct memory of calling my mom the day my daughter started play school and crying on the phone with her. I was surprised by my reaction then, too – I loved having the house to myself! I knew it was the right time for her! – and yet I felt upside down emotional.

Today feels similar. Uninterrupted time to work is a rare and precious joy. She’s ready for it! And yet, and yet…

I think part of it comes from not being able to share the experience with my mom. Not being able to send her the obligatory adorable first day of school pic, not calling her as soon as I got back from drop-off.

And of course she’s here, I know she’s here. I dreamt of my mom last night and can feel her presence today – even in spirit, she wouldn’t miss a day like this. But it’s not the same… not even a little bit, not at all.

So! Tea. A mint Lindor chocolate ball. A lovely scented candle. And some deep breaths…

#grief #griefjourney #griefsucks

Published inInspiring

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