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Reframing the holidays

An old school friend lost her dad last week, and the first thing I thought was, “ah! This time of year is so hard to be grieving…”

My second thought was, “when is it ever a good time to be grieving?”

My mom died two days before my birthday, which totally sucked. I am a Birthday Person (or ‘birthday befok’ as my brothers like to say) and it is really hard – every year – to have the two days so closely paired.

But I have heard so many people tell stories of their loved ones dying, and the timing is always awful… near a birthday or holiday, on the cusp of a new experience or when in the midst of an already overwhelming stage of life. There’s no good time for grief.

All that said, I do think Christmas is particularly triggering – the festive cheer! The emphasis on family! The holidays! It’s a stark reminder of what you have lost, and if you’re navigating grief at the moment I am sending you buckets of love and strength to get through this. You can, because you must. But that is hardly consolation.

I have found @optionb to be hugely helpful with reframing the holidays, so give them a follow if you haven’t. And @keeleyshawart is just so talented, isn’t she? I love her work.

Words seem like such small solace if you’re waking up feeling like you can’t face the day. But I will use them, because they’re all I have. One day at a time. You can do this. We are all on this messy journey of loving, and losing those we love, together.

Published inGrief

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