I’m always on the lookout for mom advice – always. Maybe one day I’ll feel like I have this whole mothering thing waxed, but for now I’m always keen to learn more. Both for my own sanity, and for my kids. I got two fantastic pieces of Mom advice last week, and wanted to share them…
The first was from Debbie, who I’ve been seeing pretty much every month for the last 8 years. She’s a reiki healer / life coach / psychic / sensible sounding board, and I have learnt so much from her over the years.
I was telling her that I find it difficult when both kids are clingy and needy, and pulling me in different directions – Arty wants me to sit inside and read him a book, Ella wants me to push her on the swing outside, both are unhappy if the other gets their way. I have a bunch of creative ways around situations like this (because they happen every day!) but emotionally I find the constant needing really difficult.
Debbie suggested a heart box, and it has made such a huge difference. At the end of every day, I imagine a box in front of my heart that I open up and fill with all the sweet moments of the day… Arty and Ella playing chase-chase after dinner and giggling and shrieking, Arty’s hand on my arm as I read him bedtime stories, Ella’s arms around my neck when I pick her up out of the bath, Arty watching Blue Planet and asking me with all seriousness, “Why aren’t there mermaids in this episode?”, Ella learning to speak and getting so excited to say door! cat! hat! apple! Oh my goodness, but there’s a lot of sweetness in each day.
Then when I wake up and there are some not-so-sweet moments – having to negotiate with a
terrorist toddler, Ella crying because I leave the room, etc etc etc – I can dig into my heart box for strength, and patience, and love. This way, it doesn’t feel like anything is being taken from me, it feels like I have a lot to give.
The second piece of great advice was from this article (which you should read in its entirety!) This part was my favourite:
REST: R stands for relax, E stands for exhale, S stands for slow down/stop and T stands for tune in. I encourage moms to REST regularly during the day, don’t save it for the yoga class. This could be while you’re doing the dishes or the laundry, or in the car before you rush off to do the next errand. Put down Facebook or whatever phone app you’re scrolling through, make a lap for your toddler, smell your baby, sit back in your office chair and close your eyes. Then tune into and tend to your needs, right now, whatever they may be.
For me, it’s about pausing and checking if I need some water, a snack, what my posture is doing, how I’m feeling, if I need to take a few deep breaths or if I’m worrying about something unnecessary. It’s a reminder to pause and tune in…
All in the pursuit of a more peaceful Mom, more peaceful kids, a more peaceful life.