A moment of hope for those in deep grief

A moment of hope for those in deep grief ❤️

My mom died almost 3 years ago – on the 1st of July. But the story of her death (“13 days from diagnosis till death”) begins in mid-June. It’s easy to remember because the 16th June is a public holiday here in SA, and it delayed us getting test results because it was a long weekend…

Two years ago, approaching the first anniversary, I came undone from now – the middle of June. The two weeks before the anniversary were like wading through thigh-high mud, so impossibly hard, as I remembered day by day what had happened. It was like watching the worst series on TV, unable to move my eyes from the screen.

One year ago, this time of year sucked. I could function, but I was constantly accompanied by a heavy shawl of sadness. It all still felt so fresh, and awful, and I missed my mom with a constant, gut-twisting ache.

But this year feels different. Grief has no timeline, as we all know, but something has eased for me… I feel more used to the idea of not having a mom (still outraged, but accustomed to the outrage). I feel no compulsion to look back and relive those dark days, as I did the first year. Something has lifted – there’s a lightening.

I still have days when I miss my mom terribly, and we will still think of her and commemorate her death on the 1st July, but this year we’ve decided – as a family – to celebrate her on her birthday instead. Three weeks to the day after she died. A way to honour all the life she lived before the story of her death…

I just wanted to offer this moment of hope to anyone who feels as if they will never emerge from the darkest days of grief. I can’t guarantee when it will happen, but one day it will. One day at a time – that’s all any of us can do ❤️