It’s 2020! We’re in the future. And I’m in my lovely, peaceful home, surrounded by plants and enjoying the silence of a house without children for the first time in a month. We had a really lovely Christmas and a beautiful New Year holiday that was nevertheless tinged with sadness because of the absence of my mom. Christmas without a mom! Who would have thought it was possible? Now that it’s a new year, I have a simple and powerful focus that I hope will permeate every aspect of 2020…
Presence. Every year I choose a focus for the year and it’s often something that is challenging or something I need to wrestle with. This year it’s all about acceptance. If I can be present in this moment, I can accept what it brings me and how I feel. There’s no pressure to be something different, to strive, to achieve. There will be joy and there will be sadness, and that’s okay. I will do my best: we’re all doing our best.
Presence is also what I really wish for from parenting. When I’m truly present with my kids, we hear each other and see each other. We can navigate through the wild and stormy emotions of being three and five (and thirty-seven) together. I’m less impatient and fragmented because I’m not trying to reply to emails and parent, or chat to friends on WhatsApp and parent, or solve some problem and parent. I’m just there to parent.
After six months of no yoga, I am also back on the mat and it feels *wonderful*. I started the 30 day yoga challenge with Tim that I’ve done the last two years and I am so happy to be present in my body again. I didn’t feel I could do yoga after my mom died because it was too much going within and breathing and contemplating. Now I’m ready for it again.
So! Here’s to a wonder-full 2020, in whatever form it might take. And to more moments of peace and presence, just like this one.
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