It’s been three and a half years since my mom died, and this Christmas is the easiest yet (so far…)
I have grown used to the fact that we aren’t competing for who can buy all their Christmas presents first (she always won because she wrapped hers in October as well) and that she won’t be part of the joyous family gatherings where kids and conversation and food are all shared in a happy swirl. I miss pouring her a glass of bubbly and sharing morning tea and the absolute love that shone out of her face when she looked at my kids playing… But I miss that all the time, not only at Christmas.
And yet. I find myself lighting her candle – the one in front of the little shrine we created for the first Christmas and which has never come down – much more often. Every day, really. Her absence is felt much more strongly because it’s the season of family and togetherness. There’s a deeper ache at what we all lost with her early exit…
If you know anyone who has lost a loved one – recently or long ago – send them some extra love this Christmas. Maybe they’re fine, in which case it’s just extra love (bonus!) but maybe they’re not fine and struggling with all the cheer… in which case it might be just what they need ❤️
Here’s to all of us, walking this journey together, this festive season 🥂
#grief #griefawareness #griefandloss #griefsucks #griefjourney
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