The holiday of both/and

It has been the holiday of both/and.

Sunshine and cocktails and not changing out of my bikini all day, lying in the hammock reading and swimming and special family time. Movies and rom com books, endless cups of tea, sleeping in and not knowing what day it is or what’s for dinner.

All the best parts of a South African summer 🥰

And. My dad having a stroke the week before Christmas. Not knowing what his recovery will be like (so far so good). Hospital and doctor calls (including while on the beach, shortly after taking this photo). Organising a 24 hour carer to start on Christmas Eve and endless discussions with my brothers about what comes next and deep philosophical musings about independence and quality of life and decision making in the face of the last leg of the journey.

Both/and.

This has been my slices of joy year, and if ever I needed a stark reminder that looking for the glimmers is the only way to live, this has been it. It is possible to have a special, magical Christmas while also caring deeply for a parent who is not physically with us because he’s one week out of a stroke. It is possible to experience the bliss of a hammock nap in the dappled shade while holding space for hard conversations and big emotions. Both things can be true at the same time.

Both/and.

#slicesofjoy