Mother’s Day was lovely, and hard. Both, and. Adorable and sweet and filled with special time with my little sweeties, and sad and lonesome and filled with an undercurrent of missing.
All I could think about last night was this line from CS Lewis: “How often- will it be for always? – how often will the vast emptiness astonish me?”
My 4th Mother’s Day without my mom (!) and still, all I want is a mom again. *My* mom again.
I had forgotten (what luxury!) the physical gut wrench of grief. The exhaustion. The way it colours everything grey and makes everything hard. It wasn’t as severe as in previous years, but was still severe enough to see me reaching for WhatsApp messages from this time 4 years ago, when she was still alive…
To all those in the same or similar boats – well done for getting through this most painful of holidays. One more under the belt. One day at a time…
#grief #griefjourney #griefsucks #griefandloss #griefsupport
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