Reflections on health as a mom with Type 1 diabetes. The juggle between parenting young kids and living with a chronic condition is real!
What a week. I’ve been battling mastitis for two weeks now, and despite doing everything right – early antibiotics, cabbage leaves for days, warm compresses, three rounds of ultrasound – it has developed into something nasty that requires a surgeon’s knife this morning. Eek!
I make it a personal habit of mine to look for silver linings in every situation, but this one has been a bit of a challenge… Still, I’ve found two. Here they are:
… In life is your health, right? Then why is it that we don’t notice how important it is till it’s gone on holiday?
I have been feeling under the weather this week. Poorly. Unwell. I have a mild case of mastitis and a severe case of feeling sorry for myself and it blows me away that last week – and the week before, and the week before, and all the many weeks I’ve been feeling well and not taking antibiotics – I didn’t notice. But that’s life, isn’t it?
I am a lucky diabetic. Most of the time, having Type 1 diabetes doesn’t feel that hard. The injections, the constant blood sugar checks, the needing to be careful of what I eat – I’m pretty much used to it and can see the silver linings (except during pregnancy, which was a whole different ball game). Most of the time.
But then there are the other times, when all I want is a day off.
I know it’s very hip to say you don’t regret anything, but I’m not so sure how true it is. I don’t regret anything in the sense that I understand that all my past experiences have brought me to where I am today and helped form me as an individual, but there are some things I’ve done that I would definitely call mistakes.
That’s why I love the idea of kintsugi.
Before this week, I hadn’t really had to explain diabetes to Arthur. He knows I take injections (“jabs”) and he knows he can’t touch my glucometer kit and he can only put the lid on my insulin pen if I hold it out to him. But apart from that he hasn’t seemed too interested in my chronic condition. Until this week.
Most of the time, to be honest, diabetes just feels like another part of daily life. Get up, test blood sugar, inject, shower, have a cup of tea… It’s all just part of what needs to be done every day. In fact, I often say that I forget I’m diabetic between meals, because it infringes so little on how I feel every day. But then there are the other days.
(For anyone who doesn’t know about the joy of treat yo’self, please do yourself a favour and watch Parks and Recreation. So. damn. funny.)
I realised the other day that I find it difficult to remember Life Before Kids. Heavens, I even find it difficult to remember life before two kids – or at least, before the pregnancy which started right around this time last year.
Honestly, as a parent, everything is about last night. Kids sleep well / only woke once / only woke twice? Today is manageable! I am woman, hear me roar! I can function as a normal human being!
Kids decide they needed to wake up every hour / countless times or be plagued by nightmares / thirst / needing to hold hands? Today is one long road to bedtime, fueled by caffeine and sugar. Normal human beings are so far from related to me I may be a chimp. And not the cute kind.
It feels like a few lifetimes since I last had a blog. But I remember – vividly – how much I loved it… I had just moved to Cape Town (10 years ago this year!) and was sharing a flat in the wrong part of the City Bowl, working my first job as features writer at Real Simple, motoring around town on a scooter I didn’t really know how to drive. My novel, Strange Nervous Laughter, was about to be published and life felt suffused with possibility and magic. I remember scooting into the autumn evenings exploring the city, being amazed how many bakeries there were in Cape Town and feeling so very lucky that I got to write for a living… And that anyone cared enough to read it.
